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COLLEGE RADIO

BOOKS ACCORDING
TO MUSIC


   

At the risk of sounding like a complete loser, one of my hobbies in college was sitting in a dark room alone and talking to myself in the middle of the night. That’s right — I was a college radio DJ.

Paying homage to my love of literature and eclectic taste in music, the premise of my weekly radio show was simple. I took a classic novel or play and attempted to retell the plot using song titles... kind of like musical Sparknotes.

And my average listenership every week? About two people.

Here’s hoping that we can breathe some new life into this updated version of an old one-hour-long radio playlist based on one of every jaded teenager’s favorites: The Catcher in the Rye.

“You’re listening to Charred on WGTB Georgetown Radio...”
xx DJ Ca$hcatz




1. “Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings” by Father John Misty: From the get-go, our sullen protagonist Holden doesn’t mince words. He thinks his older brother D.B. is a sellout for choosing the glamour of Hollywood screenwriting over a career in literature — what a phony. On the other hand, “Hollywood Forever Cemetery Sings” is a song about having sex in a cemetery. Doesn’t exactly fit the vapid L.A. stereotype, right?

2. “The King” by Ramesh:  Holden’s roommate at boarding school goes on a date with one of Holden’s childhood friends, Jane. Holden mentions that she used to keep all of her kings in the back row when they played checkers. (His roommate doesn’t care.)

3. “A Window” by The Radio Dept.: Holden works on his roommate’s English assignment. He’s inspired by his younger brother Allie, who died from leukemia. While he writes, Holden remembers how he smashed all of the windows in the garage with his fists the night Allie died.

4. “Central Park” by Mr Hudson: Holden gets expelled due to poor academic performance. He heads back home to New York and hails a cab at Penn Station. They drive past Central Park.

5. “Winter ‘05” by Ra Ra Riot: “Where do the ducks in Central Park go in the winter?”

6. “Older and Taller” by Regina Spektor: Holden decides to stay in a hotel instead of facing his parents’ wrath late at night. He hits up the hotel bar and tries to order a drink because his height and gray hair help him look of age. Sadly, no luck.

7. “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles: Holden’s thoughts return to Jane and how he loved holding her hand.

8. “An Illustration of Loneliness (Sleepless in New York)” by Courtney Barnett: All of Holden’s awkward, superficial interactions with people during his first night back in New York eptimize how lonely he is.

9. “Money” by The Drums:  Holden comes from a well-off family and doesn’t think twice before spending money. At one point, he says, “Goddam money. It always ends up making you blue as hell.”

10. “Changes” by David Bowie: Holden visits the Museum of Natural History. The exhibits hold a special place in his heart — even though he changes between every visit to the museum, the exhibits stay the same.

11. “New York Kiss” by Spoon: Holden goes out on a date with Sally, a girl he used to date. They make out in the back of their cab.

12. “Between Love & Hate” by The Strokes: The date goes terribly. At the beginning, Holden is convinced that he’s in love with her. At the end, he tells her that she’s a “royal pain in the ass.”

13. “Drunk Girls” by LCD Soundsystem: Alone, Holden gets trashed. Ensue bad drunk decisions.

14. “Falling” by Florence + The Machine: Somehow, Holden manages to make it home. He wakes up his younger sister Phoebe, one of the few people who isn’t a phony in his eyes. After he reveals his expulsion, Phoebe asks him what he wants to do with his life. His answer: to be the “catcher in the rye” who stands at the edge of a cliff of rye. For some reason, children play on this cliff and he catches them before they fall off the edge of the cliff.

15. “Tell Me Now” by Generationals: The ending of Holden’s story is inconclusive. He doesn’t want to tell people what happened. Why? “Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.”

“I shook his hand and then someone behind me pushed me so I kind of ended up in his man boobs — this was big Bill Clinton — and I got sort of squished in there,” Lakshminarayanan explains. “I had to wriggle myself out.”

Her refreshing, hilarious outlook on life is clear in this tale, which she chose to share at one of the Moth’s StorySLAM events. Lakshminarayanan responded to the theme of “office” by delving into her neurotic obsession with Clinton and how she never had the chance to connect with him the three times they met. Each encounter was either too awkwardly close for comfort, too brief, or too embarrassing (and was further punctuated by the provocative bachelorette party outfit Lakshminarayanan was wearing).

The Clinton story is only a single aspect of Lakshminarayanan’s impressive résumé, which is generously dotted with storytelling emphasized by human connections, progressive standup comedy, and funny-yet-poignant explorations of the struggles of being a nerd. And yes, her two degrees from MIT and her stints in management consulting and the venture-capital world might have something to do with it as well.

One of Lakshminarayanan’s current projects, a show titled Nerd Nation (its next showing is Friday at Alameda’s Pacific Pinball Museum — an aptly geeky venue), explores the trials and tribulations of being nerdy in a country whose cultural values following the Kardashians rather than Neil deGrasse Tyson. “We’re like, ‘I don’t know that dude. Does he have women on his show? Are they hot?'” Lakshminarayanan described it as “self-imposed anti-intellectualism.”

Nerd Nation, a work in progress, examines what’s happening in nerd culture. First, by highlighting a phenomenon she calls “boobs and boys,” Lakshminarayanan explains how adolescents are bullied for being smart. “It’s really sad because girls stop being interested in math and science either for social reasons or for boy reasons or they’re getting boobs and they feel weird,” she says. “They’re like, ‘Oh, I see pictures of scientists and they look nerdy and stupid,’ and I’m like, ‘No, girl, we can have heels and wear lipstick!'”

At the same time, Lakshminarayanan has noticed how, in spite of the pervasive “anti-nerdism,” people embrace sartorial and tech aspects of nerd culture. “If you look at the Mission, everyone is wearing nerd clothes and hipster glasses,” Lakshminarayanan muses. “I’m like, ‘You don’t have the cred to be a nerd. You didn’t get bullied. You’re not studying some outdated language like German. You’re not a real nerd.'”

Tech-hipster nerds are also shaping culture — for better and worse — like never before. The words “gentrification” and “San Francisco” in the same sentence may sound like a broken record to some people, but Lakshminarayanan spices up the discussion by borrowing the mantra of “diversify your portfolio” from her former investor days. Lakshminarayanan thinks “a diverse portfolio for San Francisco keeps [it] a viable, vibrant, self-sufficient city.”

“You don’t just want tech people,” she says. “You want public policy people, nonprofit people. You want artists.” She emphasizes how important it is to avoid pitting tech nerds against artists. “I’m kind of both,” she admits. “I’d like people to come together and support each other. Tech nerds, come and watch comedy. Come and have conversations with people of color. Artists, go perform at Twitter. See what it’s like. Make fun of them.”

When Lakshminarayanan makes fun of someone or something in her stand-up act, she avoids profanity, figuring raunchy jokes might make audience members focus on how “a petite, kind of innocent-looking girl [has] a dirty mouth.”

“I almost feel like it forces me to talk about things that are maybe a little bit cerebral or a little bit intellectual or a little bit uncomfortable that women are not supposed to talk about,” she says. “I’m getting guys in the audience to laugh about feminism and I’m getting white people to laugh about immigration.”

Lakshminarayanan has heard far too many comedians punch down at women when they throw the phrase “bitch, please” into their acts for cheap laughs. “What if you took those two words out of your act? Would you still be as strong as a comedian? I would never want someone leaving my show thinking it’s okay to hurt people actively with humor. That’s why I try, as much as possible, to draw light to something and punch up rather than down.”

The Ku Klux Klan once rallied outside of the library in Birmingham, Ala. — Lakshminarayanan’s hometown — and she compared this to offensive jokes. “Sometimes comedians want to do material for the sake of being ‘edgy,'” she said. “Freedom of speech — do it, but what are you creating in society? Are you creating understanding, togetherness, and laughter?”

As for the Klan, Lakshminarayanan wasn’t fazed. “If you make it a big deal and you act afraid of them, you give them power,” she explained. “But think about it. They’re in weird costumes, they can’t really see. I’m surprised that they’re still able to walk in a straight line. If they’re going to impose racism on others, they should at least have their body free. I mean, do some kinesthetics!”